Theme Park
Amazing! We can go on the hot air balloon. I’ve always imagined going on one but never thought we would. As we walk towards it and climb up into the huge brown basket, it’s a little frightening but I’m brave as I’m 10 now. We climb up so high I can see my school and the football pitches where I kicked my footballs yesterday. As we head towards the ground I am very happy until oh no! A loud thump, help! we are falling to the ground. I will always remember the balloon ride and the ambulance ride that day.
Donnacha
Wow donnacha I love the way that you use you first and last sentences
ReplyDeleteGreat story Donnacha. I loved the last line!
ReplyDeleteit is good but i dont like the bit about the ambulens ride
ReplyDeleteHi Donnacha
ReplyDeleteYou've used the words of the prompt for this week's 100 word challenge really well to create a very interesting story. I loved how you set the scene for going on the hot air balloon and your descriptions of what you could see were very authentic. I especially liked the line "the football pitches where I kicked my footballs yesterday". Everything seemed to be going so well so it was a bit of a shock to read that you were falling to the ground and that an ambulance was needed. Fingers crossed that nobody was seriously hurt.
Máire O'Keeffe (Team 100wc)
Galway, Ireland
Hi
ReplyDeleteyour story is quite imaginative, which I like. Good job on describing a 'persona' experience in such a nice way. Be careful although, you need to use more commas to differentiate the tone and in other cases use them as a pause, for the reader.