The Mysterious Creature !!
One summers’ day me and my brother Cillian were walking in the woods.We were just about to go home when we heard a noise. It sounded like a soft squeak.
We quickly turned around. I suddenly had this feeling that it was a leopard.
Then Cillian reminded me that there aren’t any in Ireland. I felt a bit better but I still felt scared. We tried to forget about it but then we heard it again.Then it emerged….. guess what it was? ……… a bunny. It was SO cute .We decided to bring it home with us.The bunny was very feisty. It kept scratching me and trying to bite me. Then in the distance we heard a woman shouting. But where did it go?, she shouted. Then she saw us. She ran to us and said “You found her, oh you found her!” . I know what you are thinking, WHAT is going on?
Well the lady had lost the bunny. The bunny had a really cute name. Lola
By Róisín Ní Dhúda
I like the way that you said I know what you're thinking what?
ReplyDeleteThis is a very enjoyable story, Róisín. You set the story up well, getting your reader quite worried about you and your brother, and then you introduce the cute bunny and give your story a happy ending. I particularly like your description of the bunny as ‘feisty’ and the way you go on to explain that by the way she was scratching you and trying to bite you. You also use paragraphs very well. It is easy to follow your story.
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